I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
