Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i came on her dog
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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