My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
