somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
