theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
