you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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