sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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