Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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