I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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