I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
