So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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