Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
