He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I'm really busy with my period
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