He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
