it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
