if only i could text you this smell
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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