Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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