They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
