So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i used baking grease as lip gloss
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
