Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
