You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
