Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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