And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
