I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize