Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
