I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I think I won the penis lottery.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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