So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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