I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
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