Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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