i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
