i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize