maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
