I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
