the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
