Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The power of my boobs compel you
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
