i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
