help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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