I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize