cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Come see our sink grown plant.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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