she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
