Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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