Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You made out with two different species that night
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
