With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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