You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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