I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
