how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
