Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
