I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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