apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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