Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
