And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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