Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
