I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
