Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
