Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
