So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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