I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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