You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
that is very illegal...i love you.
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