My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
