Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
that is very illegal...i love you.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
