No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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