I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
