this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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