These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
