i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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