Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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