you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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